The First Blog

I'd like to make several excuses as to why I'm blogging but we all know it's just because i'm narcissistic. I mean, I obviously think I'm interesting and that people want to read what I write, right? Otherwise this nonsense that is flowing from my brain to my fingers to the computer into your brain wouldn't be happening. And congratulations, my nonsense is in your head now, which makes us brain buddies.

So this is where you'll find me. Complaining about how auto-correction wants to replace the word "fuck" with "duck" and "Saginaw" to "vagina" and makes a big mess of communication in general. Expressing my amusement when I learn new funny things, like the fact that "tea-bagging" is sometimes referred to as "potato-sacking" depending on testicle size. Stating irrelevant things that hold absolutely-no-importance-to-you-but-you-might-find-it-interesting-maybe.

Whether it's giving advice that I wish I had known years before, writing a 'how to' guide on dealing with heartache or ranting about the importance of breaking the mental health misconception, this is the place where the stuff in my head gets translated into sentences and understandable concepts. And if you knew me at all, you'd understand what a big feat that is- making sense, I mean. Maybe it's because I've never seen Aladdin. Yes, it's true. I've never seen Aladdin. My childhood was probably lacking in something because of that, and that's probably the reason I am the way I am.

So read or don't read. Absorb or ignore. It makes little difference to me but if my ramblings and inappropriate word usage can brighten your day or make you feel a little less crazy because there's obviously crazier people in the world like me, then I have served my purpose.

I'd like to end this with a public announcement:

Girls, I don't care what you say, leggings can serve as pants if they want to and I am making the movement.

Guys, chilvary isn't fucking dead.

Mom & Dad, you really should've let me watch Aladdin.